Sunday Musings - January 30, 2022
 
Mindfulness - Thich Nhat Hahn
 
 
The January 28, 2022 episode of On Being entitled “Remember Thich Nhat Hanh, Brother Thay was a updated rebroadcast of a 2003 interview with the Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh and two of his students who became teachers, Cheri Maples and Larry Ward.
 
As always,  it is not my intention to repeat the conversation between Krista Tippett the host of On Being and her three guests.   I strongly encourage all who are able to listen to the complete conversation. 
 
During the conversation and in many of his writings, Thich Nhat Hahn talks about what I refer to as true art of mindfulness; the art of being or moving closer to being fully present to both the wonder of all that is and the suffering we all experience.  He says, “And you can get in touch with the wonders of life that can nourish you and heal you. And you are stronger, you are more solid in order to handle the suffering inside you and around you. When you are mindful you can recognize, embrace, and handle the pain in you and around you, to bring you relief. And if you continue with concentration and insight, you will be able to inspire and help transform the suffering around you.”  Further he talks about making use of the suffering in order to build peace and happiness.  He compared the process to that of the locust flowers which needs the mud to grow. He says, “Without suffering you have no way in order to learn how to be compassionate and understanding.”
 
Mindfulness is the first step in approaching our own pain and suffering which than can allow one to be mindful of the pain and suffering of others.  As we embrace and show compassion to our pain we become able to embrace and show compassion to others. Unlike Job the goal in being mindful is not to dramatize and question the suffering. It is not helpful to ask , “Why me?” Or to assert we are more or less deserving.  For me, the goal is to not ignore or feed my suffering.  It is simply to embrace what is - this me who is suffering. It is not good or bad, fair or unfair, deserving or undeserving.  It is.   As one simply embraces suffering one moves toward compassion. My understanding of compassion is not “Poor me.” or “Poor you”.  Compassion emerges to engage the strength from which the Locust flowers will emerge.
 
When Jesus instructs us to love our enemy he is instructing one to love oneself; to love that part of one which may be reflected in the pain of others; the pain which always lies beneath the surface.  The Locust flower is the compassion; the melting together of two spirits which  brings forth the blossom of love.  Anyone who has been lucky enough to be comforted at a wake/funeral knows the joy of being comforted by that person who is brave enough to be present with one’s suffering and to witness the blossoming of the joy of non-judgemental love.
 
Many teachers posit that suffering always lies beneath or alongside what many term bad behavior.  The pain may be loss of mental ability, loss of a loved one, loss of trust, or even the physical sensation of from a severe injury or the wounding by cancer or some other illness.  When a person attempts to use one’s pain to cause pain the receiver, if mindfully present, embraces the pain and not the threat or the injury. 
 
It is simple math.  If pain leads to bad behavior then inflicting more pain is not going to lead to more pain.  If one wants to reduce pain to self, other people, Mother Earth and all it contains, one needs to reduce responding to pain with pain.  Whether one approaches the reduction of pain from a scientific point of view, a religious/spiritual view or a philosophical view the goal is to reduce pain.  Inflicting more pain and calling it justice or thinking it will lead to justice is insanity, illogical, and unscientific.
 
We begin with mindfulness which begins with a willingness to be open and honest.
 
Being mindful of one’s breath allows one to touch all the cells in one’s body; to be with all the joy, pain, suffering that we humans experience.  That can lead, in turn, to being with the suffering and joy of others.   Being mindfully present allows the locust flower of love to blossom.
 
Written January 30, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
 
 
 
 ​

Humans are not robots
 
Hello.  I want to pay my phone bill for a month in advance.
 
“Sorry, the system does not allow that.”
 
Someone designed the system. There has to be a way to allow that.
 
“Sorry, the system does not allow that.”
 
Hello, I want to update my address.
 
“Sorry, there that has to be done by X.   You need to call X.”
 
Where is X.
 
“X is not my department.  Let me give you the number.”
 
I would like to avoid being put on hold again.  Where is X located?
 
“X is not my department.  They are across the hall.”
 
Can you take the information and walk it across the hall.”
 
“That is not in my job description.”
 
Hello, I need to close my account.
 
“Sorry you have to wait for your renewal date.”
 
You cannot close out my membership now.”
 
“No, the system does not allow me to do that.”
 
Hello, someone made a mistake.  Can I see the manager?
 
“I can take care of that for you.”’
 
You can?
 
“Yes,  would you also like to check out now?  I can do that. Do you like chocolate?’
 
Thanks. Yes I like chocolate. Why do you ask?
 
“Here is a box of chocolates for you. I am sorry we made a mistake.”
 
What, you can do that without asking a manager?  It does not mess up the system?
 
“No, we are treated like competent humans who can make many decisions.”
 
But doesn’t that make the system go crazy?
 
“No, we are in charge of the system and can override any decision it makes.”
 
The system is frequently a computer system, the micromanagement system or book of rules which has been written as if it is a novel by Fyodor Dostoevsky.   Anyone who studied human behavior or anyone who has a wise parent or grandparent knows that humans are not robots and do not respond well to being treated as such.   In the above examples, only the last person has the freedom to solve a problem and even make amends by offering a free box of chocolates.  Not surprisingly, in this scenario both the employee and customer are almost always satisfied by the end of the exchange.  Neither the clerk nor the customer are stressed. The clerk is likely to remain at their job longer than at a business which is designed to treat employees as robots.  The customer is likely to return and is likely to market the business for free.  It is a win-win for all involved.  
 
During the current pandemic, science has told us much of what we needed to do.  As new information arrived the recommendations from medical scientists was adjusted.   The goal of social scientists and most people was to do all that was possible to reduce the damage and the length of the stay of the pandemic.   Yet quickly it seems the goal became for the experts to make  “the people” obey the recommendations.   There was nothing wrong with the recommendations.  What happened?  The “system”  became the medical scientists against the people.    Politicians quickly saw an opportunity to feed this divisive approach to the pandemic.  Not surprisingly, many of us humans can easily get sucked into such a dynamic and begin to act as if we are robots fighting a fabricated enemy.  In this case the enemy become the ones mandating or requiring masks or vaccines.  The original enemy was the virus and all its variants causing the pandemic.   How did this sleight of hand happen?  How has so much energy  been expended on  this false definition of the problem?  What kept us as a nation or as communities from backing up and saying? “Oops, we need to regroup, refine the enemy and come together to decide how we are going to fight the virus together.”  
 
Whether dealing with a pandemic or working as a robot in private business or government systems, once it is decided that we humans are robots who need to be told what to do, many of us are likely to become rigid, non-creative,  and non-problem solvers.    We are likely to also because unhappy, passive aggressive and angry.  We may treat others as robots.  Our common humanity is not evident in how we interact. 
 
The last example I give in the introduction is from my experience in interviewing a number of individuals in a variety of locations at a chain business establishment.  The employees I interview consistently report feeling as if they are a trusted, respected members of a team. They do not feel like robots.
 
My views on management approaches have come from some wise teachers and from my own failed experiments in falling into the trap of micromanagement; often despite my clear resolve to make sure that did not happen.
 
The solution for all of us is simple:  back up, quit treating people as robots and open the door to reframing the problem or issue.
 
Written January 27, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 ​

Sunday Musings – January 23, 2022
What we learn versus what we know.
 
Beginning when we are very young all of us learn how to view and interpret the world.  We learn things about our body and its relationship to other people, places and things.  We learn how to use our bodies to navigate, feed ourselves and, if lucky, protect ourselves.  We learn language and how to label things, body parts, and other people.  Eventually we learn concepts and constructs.   Concepts such as buildings or fruit allow us to identify groups of objects which have some commonality.   We learn terms such as gender, race, and perhaps cultural and/or religious identify.
 
If we were very lucky, we  learned that truths or facts are relative; that the current understanding is A, but we used to think it was X and before that humans thought it was M.  Most of us are not that lucky. We learned there are certain facts which cannot be questioned.  We heard such “facts” over and over again and were taught to use those facts as guideposts for navigating this life journey.   We may have learned that certain people had certain characteristics or habits of behavior.  For example, we  may have learned to make assumptions based on gender, skin color, size, religion, cultural background and host of other constructs and surface appearances.
 
Increasingly, in the age of the internet we have access to variety of opinions and beliefs about the world.   If we have learned to view people and situations through a particular lens, we may automatically tune in to those who reinforce the view through a similar lens.   Words or labels such as skin color, government, bureaucrat, wife, husband, school, lawyer, or teacher may evoke a host of labels which masquerade as facts about individuals, groups or other parts of nature.   One may have heard such “facts” so many times that one’s reaction to them has been built into one’s muscle memory causing one to react in a way which has nothing to do with one’s current beliefs. We may or may not have  learned to question our  thoughts or actions.   If we do question, we may be able to identify the internalized “facts” which prompted the action.   We than have the opportunity to question those and other “facts”.   If, for example,  we have learned  to judge people based on perceived race, we may find we are racist.  If we examine those beliefs and know there is no scientific reason to judge someone based on perceived race, we are racist but not a bigot.  We will have to be intentional about correcting the information we have stored in our brain. 
 
For many years,  I have been intentionally attempting to identify the truths I have learned and which often direct my muscle memory to issue certain commands to my body.   Although I have made progress in changing some of those “truths”, I still find myself thinking or feeling based on the lies I learned when I was a child. The lies we internalize contribute to shaping the life of the body politic – the community, state, nation and the universe.
 
On this Sunday, which for some is the sabbath or a day of reflection or meditation, it is, I believe, a moral imperative to make an honest effort to identify those lies or half-truths we have attributed to the God of our understanding; lies based on gender, sexual orientations, race, religion, cultural background, political affiliation, sexual feelings and behavior, chosen people,  and a host of others.   One might also consider it a moral imperative to identify the ways we use titles, positions, and other labels to further separates us into “us” and “them”.  
 
I remarked to someone this morning about the difficulty in uncovering the lies I have told myself or accepted from others; the lies which want me to believe that my stories are “the stories” detailing my behavior as a husband/partner, father, son, sibling, friend and neighbor.
 
The goal is not to judge myself or others but free ourselves from the tyranny of lies of the absolutes which separate us from each other and mother earth and, thus lead to our dis ease and eventual destruction.
 
 
Written January 23, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

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The painter
 
My habit is to write down a spiritual intention each morning. Recently my spiritual intention was to accept and trust the gift of grace.  In the Christian tradition the word grace is often translated as unconditional love or unearned love.  The Greek word in the New Testament is charis.  The use of the word depends on the context and can be translated as kindness, love , good will, loving kindness,  or God’s mercy.
 
In non-religious context the one might think of grace as the gifts which one is given.  Father Greg Boyle who works for/with those coming to out of the violent survival gang life of Los Angeles as described in several books including Tattoos on the Heart reflects on the fact he cannot take credit for the fact that luck or chance or some other unnamable factors resulted in his being born to a  particular family with opened certain doors for him rather than being born the son of parents living in survival mode whose only options seems to  the  violent life associated with the street survival in sections of Los Angeles and other cities.  In any city one can quickly move from the luxury of a gated a condo community to a precarious cardboard, worn canvas or wall less home.    One can ask, “Why them? Why me? What responsibility do I have as result of gifts I have been given (the grace I have been given?)”
 
As gas prices seem to soar as quickly as temperatures are dropping here in Tulsa, Oklahoma, on a recent January day, I decided to  fill up my car’s gas tank.  I was quickly reminded of the luxury of having a car and of not having to ride my bicycle on this cold, winter day.  I also was acutely aware I was not one of those whose home was on the grassy edge of the land which houses the neighborhood gas station and convenience store. On this day a woman who seemed to carry her home with her was sitting on the grassy edge of the gas station lot on a stool painting.  She had a coat and a knit hat pulled down over her ears.  Her gloved handheld a tiny paint brush.  Surrounding her were small paintings for sale.   
 
I thought of my spiritual intention for the day and questioned myself, “How am I using the gifts I have been given?  Would I, in her position, be painting out in the cold?   Would I even have the courage to face another day and night?”
 
How shall I use the gifts I have been given? Can I infuse my gifts with the courage and the strength of the Painter? 
 
What shall I learn from this teacher, the painter?  What can it mean to accept and trust the gift of grace? 
 
If not careful, I grow heavy with the responsibility of gifts while the painter shares her gifts with humility.  She does not seem to look for the pride of position, exclusive art galleries, or the fame of a Georgia O’Keefe or a Van Gogh.  She smiles through her chapped lips nonverbally proclaiming, “Here are my gifts. Buy them. Don’t buy them. Do not pity me. I am not burdened by the arrogant heaviness of your heart.”  She does not repeat the words of Descartes, “I think because I am.”   Her dance says, “I am. ”
 
 
How shall I trust and accept grace of gifts, the gift of grace?
 
Written January 20, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 
 
 ​

​Morality – Part II
 
I believe the first prerequisite for exploring one’s base of morality is the acceptance that all action and inaction directly and indirectly affects all of nature.  Even seemingly private decisions such as what one eats for breakfast, one’s workout at the gym and with whom one connects potentially affects many others.  What one eats for breakfast reflects decisions about  food manufacturers, suppliers and all those involved in this process.  The food one eats affects one’s physical, emotional and intellectual health which in turn affects thought process and subsequent decisions.  Whether or not one chooses to articulate a spiritual intention affects how one lives out this day and one’s consequent decisions.  
 
We daily learn more about the communication and consequent interdependent behavioral of all living matters including trees and their surrounding environment. The results of that communication and behavior directly affects the air we breathe and, thus, how we function.    
 
Once we are able to accept that all our actions and inactions affect all of nature, we then have to accept that all of creation has worth.  If all has worth then what is moral is that which serves the needs of all parts of the universe. If we act in a way which is not in the best interest of all than all suffers.  Thus, if we label someone or something an enemy and treat them/it as less than no one is a winner.  If we treat all with love and respect then all of nature wins.  Treating someone who has a damaged brain with respect may, at times, involve restricting their activity but the goal is to do so with love and respect recognizing that the person has not been able to make a choice to act as they did.  The same principles may apply to other damaged parts of nature.
 
Underlying my understanding of a moral code are basic truths or principles:
 
·      All parts of nature are interdependent. 
·      Humans are, by nature or design, imperfect.  Thus, we need to be quick to forgive ourselves and others.
·      It is important to avoid repeating the same mistakes.
·      Many factors affect one’s thought process and, thus, one’s decision-making process. No one can control all the factors which affect the operation of the brain and, thus, the thought process.  We can influence that process by the choices we are able to make regarding nutritional intake, exercise, daily emotional and spiritual care, and as much as possible fact checking the information one inputs to one’s brain.
·      Punishment never results in positive change.
·      Knowledge is fluid.  What we know today is much different than what we thought we knew 100 years ago.
·      Positing a vengeful, adolescent god whose ego is fragile, and who has anger issues will not long term serve anyone or any part of nature.
·      Most of nature has an amazing ability to adapt but there are limits.  It is important not to use this fact as an excuse to deliberately mistreat or misuse any part of nature including our human bodies.
·      There is only this moment to be the best one can be.
·      Fear is not a healthy motivator.  It may work short term, but it forces the recipient to function at the most basic survival level which precludes considering the needs of other people and the rest of nature.
·      Us humans are often fallible. We need to laugh often with each other.
·      None of us can truly put ourselves in the shoes of another.
 
If one  accepts the above one can look to a better understanding of teachers                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              such as the Dali Lama and Jesus.  For examples consider The Sermon on the Mount by Jesus. Is there any science which disputes his claims?  Consider:
 
1.    Blessed are the poor in spirit. If someone is sad, depressed, or otherwise feeling poorly emotionally comforting them will  benefit everyone.  Treating them badly will not benefit any part of nature.
2.    Blessed are they that mourn.  Sharing one’s grief allows one to be more present to the living.
3.    Blessed are the meek; those who are quiet enough to listen and learn; who are humble enough to accept their humanness and that of others.
4.    Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness- those who seek to be intentional about how their behavior affects all of nature.
5.    Blessed are the merciful; those who do not have an excel spread sheet to rank order how humans hurt themselves and each other.
6.    Blessed are the pure in heart – those who are brave enough to love each other and all of nature.
7.    Blessed are the peacemakers; those brave enough to respond to the underlying fear and pain of others with compassion and identification.
8.    Blessed are they who have been persecuted for righteousness’ sake; those who are the recipients of the fear of others; those who like Demond Tutu learned from his mistreatment and refused to mistreat others.
 
One might say that moral behavior is that behavior which reflects one’s comfort level with one’s own humanness and the humanness of others; a human who co exists with all of nature.
 
Moral behavior is a goal and not a destination.  As humans we are always in the process of learning. Learning a priori involves making mistakes.
 
Written January 18, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 



 
 




 

x​Sunday Musings - January 16, 2022
“Every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low.”
 
Most readers will recognize the above as a line from the 1963 “I have a dream.” Speech of Martin Luther King Jr.    I have heard and read that speech more times than I can count.  I  reread it this morning.  Today, I, along with millions of others, set aside time to remember the courage, wisdom and love of this very human man, The Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr.  For reasons only those who proport to understand the mystery of the human mind will appreciate this morning I focused on the lines “Every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low.”  What wisdom is encased in these lines?  What does it mean for every valley to be exalted?  Obviously I should consult google.  As with every other question I have, many have asked this question before me.  The most common meaning assigned to the word exalted in this context is “raised”.   Now I understand.   “Every valley shall be raised up and every hill and mountain lowered until there is a level playing ground; until the dream he mentions earlier in the speech “All men are guaranteed the unalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.” becomes manifest reality.
 
In other words, the dream is that the playing field of life would be made equal.  All of us, regardless of color, gender, race,  background, religion or lack of religion, sexual orientation, or other social constructs, would have equal access to nutritious food, safe and comfortable homes, education, health care, safe communities, a safe home environment, safe work environment,  decent salaries, access to  time, space, tools/instruments to discover and hone our talents, access to the God or non-God of our understanding, and a loving support system.   This would be socialism at its best. It certainly would not be the type of socialism known as communism which has become a way to enrich the coffers of the leaders while dolling out the remaining crumbs to the masses; not a system of  persons in power dictating who is deserving and of what they are deserving.  No, this is vision/dream which all can envision; a dream which does not deny even those who now unequally enjoy temporary riches which have to be protected with nuclear bombs, security systems, elaborate justification of half-truths and outright lies.  They too shall benefit as equals living in harmony with all the universe.
 
All creations begin with an often-blurry vision which only becomes clear as one begins the actual construction.  Soon what begins as a vision takes on a life of its own as we allow it to exhale its own breath. Whether channeling a new song or symphony, a new tale, a building or a painting until we let go of the illusion that we are the creator rather than the mere vehicle it cannot be born.
 
This was the magic of Martin Luther King Jr.; to channel a dream which we have too often attempted to mold into our own likeness rather than allowing its breath to emerge.  It is not too late. More than ever the reality of how much we have failed to guarantee the unalienable rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness to all who call this land home is evident.  It is not too late to dream; to envision a home where all are allowed to blossom into the best the can be; to make that vision manifest reality.
 
Thanks Martin.
 
Written January 16, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Morality – part 1
 
Theologians, philosophers, medicine men and women; all thoughtful people have, since the beginning of time, attempted to discern how we determine what is moral.  What is meant by the term moral is concerned with our behavior as humans.   Being the self-centered creatures, we are we humans do not think of other living creatures or beings as making moral decisions. We know, however, that many other creatures or beings, make decision which affect the lives of others in the pack, group, herd or family.  Yet the thinking of us humans is that their behavior is governed by what we usually label as instinct.  There are not exploring their decisions with the likes of the philosophical treatises of Immanuel Kant, Plato, Bertram Russell or wordy bloggers such as myself.
 
Religious people and institutions have historically constructed elaborate systems explaining and justifying behavioral rules. Often these rules are attributed to the intervention of a divine being speaking through a human who may be labeled a prophet.  The role of the prophet is to convey these rules to a larger group of people.  Not only are there rules but the consequences of obeying or breaking these rules are also detailed.  There may or may not be an assumption of the underlying goodness or evilness of us humans. These rules are called moral or some similar term.  Morality then refers to the behavior which is consider right or wrong; good or bad.  The rules of morality carry a different weight than the mores of a particular family or group.  Mores can also be codified into laws and may, in some cases, carry the weight of moral rules and or laws.  For example,  same gender sexual relationships may be against the mores and considered immoral and illegal by some and not by others.
 
Moral rules, with or without a base of a state sanctioned religion, may then be codified into laws which become the foundation of the body political.   In most countries or communities, the ultimate punishment for violating a moral rule is temporary or permanent banishment or disconnection from the community.  In some systems there is a formal ritual for disowning a person who has violated a sacred rule.  In the United States we banish by imprisonment for long periods or even life without the possibility of parole.  In some cases, we keep people in detention indefinitely. In other cases, we kill by execution.
 
There is often a different set of rules or moral codes for  “us and them”.   Us is our country, tribe, family or group. Them is whoever is determined to be the enemy or unworthy - outside this tribe, country, family or group.  Today in the United States political party or political ideology can determine who is us and who is them as can race, gender, vaccination status or a host of other social constructs.
 
For those who are “them” moral rules are different. One may, for example, not be permitted to kill other humans  but one may kill one enemy or perceived enemy. Thus, one can, for example, be a Christian following the teachings of Jesus and be able to articulate why Jesus (who is God) would condone an exception to “loving one’s enemy”.  One can even articulate an argument for “banishing” those whose do not recognize the evil in the political beliefs of others.
 
Moral rules can dictate behavior in all areas of life.  Public urination, for example may be perceived as a health issues or an indecency issue.  Stealing from someone’s person may be immoral or unlawful while stealing a country, blackmailing by charging high prices for a survival drug or other product is not stealing or immoral.  Making a profit from the pandemic may be good business or it may be immoral.   Forming shell companies may be the sign of a smart businessperson or may be immoral.    An adult having sex with a child if ritualized to teach a child about sex may be a moral behavior or it may be so immoral as to be disdained by even the mass murderer.
 
Perhaps more than ever, our evolving communication abilities ensure that most people are aware of various moral and legal codes or rules. This results in all of us having to discern what is moral and what is immoral. The answers to these questions are closely connected to the privilege and burden of  determining the legacy we will leave in this brief life journey.
 
How then do we determine our base of morality?  In my next blog I will attempt to explore this question.
 
Written January 13, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
 

 
Sunday Musings  - January 9, 2022
The good of days
One of the rallying cries of many in the United States during the past few years has been “Make America Great Again.” I always want to ask, “Great for whom?”
I have been blessed with being able to have a more financially stable life than many are able to achieve. Despite our family being poor when I was growing up, I was able to attend college and graduate school.  Today I own my home and car, have a monthly social security check and have some money saved for retirement/old age.
I am a white/Caucasian male, who is blessed to have access to medical care. Today I experience relatively mild discrimination as a gay man.  I have been able to choose a profession which was not adversely affected by climate change or the loss of the protection of unions.
At the same time, I cannot recall a time when I was not acutely aware of racism, sexism, homophobia and a so-called justice system which punishes people for mental illness including addiction; a system which  disproportionally punishes poor people and people of color.  My earliest clear memory of racism is age 5.  I am aware that money often purchases unequal access to attorneys who know how to work the system and money often gains access to better schools and other “pathways” to what is considered success.
As a child I was often bullied, but always knew I would be bullied less than my black and brown neighbors. 
My ability to succeed in the United States Public School System was due to chance of race, gender and the absence of illnesses which adversely affects the brain.
As an adult I cannot recall a day when I have not witnessed or heard racist, sexist and homophobic comments.
As a student I knew I could not rely on the history taught in public schools I attended. Much was left out or the context was excluded 
Christian institutions and people in the United States  have frequently attempted to destroy the religious and spiritual heritage of  non-Christian groups.
We in the United States, individually and as a nation, have made great contributions to, medicine, literature, music, manufacturing, dance and many other areas of life.  Some of the strongest and bravest leaders of social justice have emerged from/within these United States.
Us humans have, since our emergence as so called, “more evolved members of the universe” , been noted for the contrast between our ability to lovingly stand tall for social justice and, simultaneous, invent increasingly sadistic ways to mistreat and kill each other.
We are a nation which passionately believes in freedom to celebrate who we are and what we believe and, at the very same time, believe that we can divide each other into wheat and chaff and then destroy the chaff.  We are a nation which is quick to point out the speck in the eye of other cultures and nations while ignoring the beam in our own eve.
We are a nation which lavishly celebrates the birth of the Christ child while leading the world in criminalizing mental illness and others whose brains are unable to share the same reality.\
We are a nation which promotes democracy while facing those who are fearful/mistrustful of our behavior and motives with the sword of criticism, incarceration.
We are a nation which recreates history to fit who we want to be without having to face discomfort or giving up our unequal share of the necessities and luxuries.
We are not alone in these contradictions.  We may, however, often lead the way in our ability to deny and justify these contradictions.
Perhaps as we begin this new year; as we move beyond the January 6, 2021 attack on the very structure of our democracy, we can commit to living out our ideals or at least take a step in that direction without needing to demonize those who might feel left out and mistrust our motives. Perhaps we can focus on turning our swords into plowshares; on on what we stand for and not what or who we stand  against.  Perhaps we can become great by doing what we need to do to allow our children to honestly look back on good days of 2022.
 
Written January 9, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org
 
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​Sunday Musings – January 2, 2022
 
As we begin the new year, I am conscious of the many people who have made my life richer.  I could attempt to create a list of the millions of people who have directly and indirectly added to the quality of my life beginning of course with the earliest teachers and nurturers; those who nurtured me emotionally, physically, intellectually, and spiritually.   I could also list those individuals who today enrich and nurture me and make it possible for me to continue to thrive.   Besides the people I personally know there are untold nameless scientists, manufacturers, farmers, truck drivers, mechanics, store clerks and a host of others whose contribute to the food which I have eaten today.  There are a host of people who contributed to the edifice/apartment in which I am now sitting. Other provide the raw materials out or which still others constructed furniture, the heating system and the plumbing system which provides water and removes waste from this apartment.
 
One of the people who regularly feed me intellectually via his podcast, Akimo, is the marketing person Seth Godin.  He often uses marketing terms and concepts to examine issues which affect how we take care of or fail to take care of each other in the United States.  This past week in an episode entitled “The Truth about Capitulation” he uses the investment and marketing terms capitulation and affiliate to examine such issues as how we are responding to covid.  Capitulation is when investors give up previous gain in a security market by selling their positions during period of declines – often at a loss.  Affiliate marketing is an advertising model in which a company pays others to advertise their product and services and generate their sales.
 
Mr. Godin points out what or who we name as the competitor or enemy determines the outcome of an argument, a campaign or even other goals of the body politic.  If, for example the enemy is the covid virus the body politic affiliates to force the virus to capitulate.  If the common enemy are those forcing one to get vaccinated or to wear masks, then many are going to refuse to capitulate. Some if us may believe  the real enemy is the virus.  Some believe the enemy are those taking away their freedom to decide for themselves to get vaccinated or wear a mask.  They will not be forced to capitulate.  One has to convince the anti-vaccine and the anti-maskers that the enemy is the virus not those attempting to convince them to get vaccinated or wear masks.
 
As we begin this new year in the United States, we may all want to explore ways to create affiliation – to be clear that the enemy is that which is trying to prevent affiliation.  The language we use to achieve the goal will often determine if we are asking our intended audience to capitulate or affiliate.
 
Written January 2, 2022
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​New year’s eve - 2021
The legacy of Desmond Tutu
 
One of the existential philosophical questions is whether sound exists if there is no one present to hear it.  Obviously, objects such as trees, fall and as they push against the body of air, waves of energy are created whether or not there is anyone to bear witness.  On the other hand, if a person is present the energy enters the body.  If the person is a hearing enabled person something one has learned to label as a type of sound is recorded.  Even if not hearing abled the person will experience the waves of energy.
 
 
Bishop Desmond Tutu who recently died was fond of the concept and word ubuntu which he defined as “I am, because you are.”  Ubuntu is actually a part of the Zulu phrase “Ubuntu ngumuntu ngabantj”  which is usually translated as “a person is a person through other people.” This conveys we are all part of a common humanity and in a very real sense do not exist as humans apart from each other.
 
In both of these cases the question is whether there is more than the physical act occurring. For sound to exist does there need to be a person there to receive the waves of energy?  For a person to exist does there need to be at least one other person to experience him or her? 
 
What does it mean to be human?  Most, if not all social scientists, would maintain that essentially we are social beings.  We exist only in relationship to each other. One might, of course, argue that if one was, for some reason, left to be raised as the child of animals in a forest, one would exist in relation to the animals and all other life in the forest, but one would not exist as a human until one began to interact with other humans.
 
Many of us may know or have known someone who spent years on a silent spiritual retreat.  Yet, they took a history of being formed by the interactions with people and the environment with them to the retreat and they will share the new layers of who they are with one or more people when they return from the retreat,
 
A psychopath is unable to consider or relate to the needs of others.  The psychopath may believe their only purpose is to care for their own desires and needs. Autistic  children may not have that mechanism which provides a mirror image of others and thus, may be unable to experience empathy.  One of the defining characteristics of an active addict is the addictive urge is so strong they are unable to use their core empathic values to make behavioral decisions about their relationships.
 
If we want to discard or ignore our relationship with another person or group of people, we posit an excuse to dehumanize them or to otherwise convince ourselves that they are unlike us and, thus, an enemy or the evil one(s) thus allowing us to use them as objects of labor, kill them, use them sexually or otherwise treat them as unrelated to us. If a soldier finds a photo of children or a spouse on someone they have killed they are reminded that the person is like them – a human with thoughts and emotions.
 
The message of ubuntu is that if I mistreat another – if I mistreat you – in a very real sense I cease to exist as a human.
 
Desmond Tutu firmly believed that we are intricately connected to and dependent on each other.  He believed we must treat each other as sacred beings whose sacredness is restored when we acknowledge ourselves in each other. This opens the door to forgiveness, restorative justice and working together to create the world which teachers such as Desmond, Jesus, the Buddha and other wise, deeply spiritual persons believed was intended to be.
 
As we begin the year 2021 we must decide if we want to honor our own beingness – our humanness - by honoring the fact that we only exist in relationship to each other; that reality can and needs to be reflected in all our interactions with each other - how we together face the reality of covid; how we deal with climate change; how we deal with other tough issues such as abortion; how we respond to violence - whether we continue to believe that we can decrease violence by responding to violence with violence.
 
I am because of you,  I only am because of you. I cease to exist if I do not see myself in you.
 
Written December 31, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickertt.org