Dance


One of the existential questions for all or certainly most of us humans is:  “How do we balance the imperative to do our part to daily contribute to the functioning of this universe(s) with the obvious truth that this life journey is very brief and, in the long run, all our attempts to create rule books which please or displease the god or gods of our understanding do not seem to help very much.     


Many teachers, including Jesus, have suggested that “Unless you change and become as little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”   (Matthew 18:3)   Whatever might this mean?  Obviously, most of us have responsibilities which little children do not have.  We have jobs, home responsibilities, community responsibilities and responsibilities to friends and extended family.  We have bills to pay, laundry to do and a host of other chores which little children do not have. Little children, unless they are immobilized by constant fear, not getting their basic needs met, or have physical or neurological issues, are free to explore their abilities; to touch, smell, taste and physically interact with all they encounter in their world.  They get delighted , frightened, easily hurt, reach for support, cry, and quickly recover most of the time. They are both very dependent and independent which is just fine with them.  They are vulnerable and amazingly resilient.  As far as we can determined they do not have the capacity to endlessly analyze their feelings or thoughts. 


Children grow and age in a culture in which comparison is the norm and where there are many tests to determine if one is worthy; whether one has crossed all the ‘Ts” and dotted all the ‘Is”; or have seriously pondered if one has pleased or displeased the gods. As adults we often learn to avoid exposing our human vulnerability and to label events or experiences as good or bad, desirable or undesirable.  We construct copious books of ethical rules and moral imperatives while, often simultaneously, hiring teachers to practice meditation, yoga and other exercises to relearn how to just be present.


In short we become very serious creatures.  We may then attempt to find activities such as sex, professional advancement, collection of things/stuff, alcohol and other so called street or  recreational drugs, or prescription drugs to temporarily avoid the discomfort of our seriousness.


Then along comes the Buddha Jesus and other teachers who says drops the dualities, just show up and notice. 


As adults we have the capacity to understand and respect the space of others, to procure our own food, even to have some measure of independence while appreciating our interdependence.  We can do all these and related activities without over analyzing.  We can eat, dispose of waste products, make love while also being responsible regarding diseases and pregnancy.  We can refuse to accept the social constructs of race, many aspects of gender, age and so called sexual orientation.  We can play with abandon and still perform adult tasks, all without seriously thinking about them or checking page 93 of the rule book.  We can seek and give comfort when needed.


We do not need an enormous books of rules.  We do need to know our behavior either enhances the functioning of the whole or detracts from it. It behoves us to know that our vehicles can quickly become killing machines or some substances such as lead are not beneficial if mixed with our drinking water.   It is helpful to appreciates how oxygen feeds fires or that fire can bring needed warmth and danger. We are born.  We live a short while.  We return to Mother Earth.


We can read books such as Immanuel Kant’s Groundwork of the Metaphysics of Morals, the Critique of Reason or Critique of the Power of Pure Reason  and experience them having fun in exploring some life questions and issues or we can drag ourselves through each serious book.


Showing up with love is, I believe, very important. Analyzing whether to show up with love for hours on end does not seem very helpful or fun.


Sharing our grief and mourning is very necessary for good health. Wearing our grief and mourning as a required school uniform is depressing and boring. 


We can dance with abandon; dance with honesty; dance with the pain; and dance with the laughter.


We can dance.


Written April 6, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org


 

Sunday Musings - Easter, April 4, 2021


Today is the holy day of Easter for Christians.  Easter focuses on the story of the resurrection of Christ. Some believe this to be a fact while some believe it is a metaphor for new life.   Some would say it is both.


For Jews this is the last day of Passover,  Also, a celebration of new beginning.  For both Christians and Jews the new beginning were made possible by the intervention of the God of their understanding.


For many who are not connected to any religion this is a day when kids and some adults will hunt eggs and receive baskets with decorated eggs and other special treats.  Many of these families who feel safe enough regarding Covid-19 will join other family members and jointly welcome spring and new beginnings


For many others this Easter Sunday is another day for survival in the streets, under the bridges, in shelters, or in refugee camps,  For many, survival will occur on and near the border or, especially for unaccompanied children in a detention facility.   They have left one prison of poverty, violence and hopelessness and now face another. 


The group to which one belongs on this Sunday will not tell us which ones experience holiness.  Oxford dictionary defines holy as 1.1 (of a person) devoted to the service of God.” And 1.2 Morally and spiritually excellent.”    Serene Jones, President of Union Theological Seminary, in a December 5, 2019 conversation with the host of On Being, Krista Tippett, talks about public theology.  She explores theology as clarifying lens on the present-from grace to repentance to the importance of moving from grieving to mourning; to unite what I was, what I am, and what I will become.”


Friday evening I attended an open Narcotics Anonymous meeting to listen to a young man with whom I have been corresponding tell his story. His story includes being raised by addicts who were once members of a violent gang in Los Angeles; of a young man who grew up with an fear, anger, and doing what he needed to do to survive, being beaten, spending multiple times in prison and being unable to connect with his holiness or that of others.   He was one of those individuals who much of society thought of what I called in a previous blog a throw away person.  We greeted each other with a warm hug and much appreciation for who we are.  Although my story is much different than his we are both the same and different men than we were as young men. As young men we were both enveloped in grace although neither of us could then appreciate that fact.   Unlike Dr. Jones I would suggest that we are the same person but the person whom we now share is not who we were yesterday or who we can become tomorrow. 


Today the public theology of this young man is the loving, praying, responsible man who is committed to walking the talk; the talk none of us can walk until we humbly throw off the shields of fear, anger, and disconnectedness; until we repent and risk the nakedness of who we were born to be; until we accept what some Christians call Grace (unconditional love).  That is the Easter message.  We can rise again to be the person who knows and trust love for self and others; the person who is connected to the whole.  Christians would explain this amazing possibility as happening because of the events of Holy Week; because of the courage and love of this man Jesus who became pure humility and, thus, pure love.   Others might cite the teachings of Buddha and still others would cite Mohammed, another god of their understanding or some other wise teacher.


In my mind,  public theology entails doing our best to grief and then mourn all the harm we have caused ourselves and others; throwing off all those shields which numb us and keep us from claiming the reward of the journey toward holiness. The journey toward holiness is, for most of us, often one step forward and two back.  Eventually, as we persist, it becomes two forward and one back.   No matter, the essence of who we are is always present. We merely need to claim the courage and strength to own that person.


Welcome Easter.  Welcome Passover.  Welcome spring.  Welcome brother in the homeless camp.  Welcome sister refugee.  Welcome new beginnings.  Welcome humility.  Welcome the courage to claim one’s holiness.


Written April 4, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
Coachpickett.org


 

 
Good Friday 2021
 
The Christian Calendar denotes the Friday preceding Easter as Good Friday to commemorate the crucifixion of Jesus.  Obviously, commemorating the crucifixion of a person is a recognition  of we humans at our worst.   On the surface there is nothing good about Good Friday.  It is a reminder of what we humans are capable of when we do not want to face our fear.  We often blame our discomfort on others.  Once we are secure in the contrived logic of blaming we may then destroy the person, place or thing we are blaming for our fear. In the United States there is a long history of lynching rooted in fear which were often designed as public, social gatherings complete with post card photos.  This tradition has continued even though we no longer lynch in the same manner.  We may, instead, imprison people or even kill in the name of justice with a knee to the throat.  We may ban immigration from countries which just happens to target those of a non-Christian religious framework. We may pass new Jim Crow laws camouflaging them as securing the security of elections.  We may “by happenstance” have mostly white, male boards of directories or other senior positions in our economy.  We may red line without calling it red lining. 
 
This time on the calendar is also the Jewish celebration of Passover which begin on March 27 celebrating the liberation of slavery in Egypt  or the sparing of the first born of the Israelites when “the Lord smith the land of Egypt on the eve of Exodus.”   Yet the leadership of the state of Israel continues to enslave the Palestinians who are themselves fond of using violence to respond to their fear of the fear of the state of Israel.
 
Good Friday and Passover reminds us that running from our fear by blaming and even crucifying others only results in mutual destruction.   Displacing fear engenders more fear.   There are no winners.
 
Jesus, on the other hand, faces his fear head on.  Earlier in the garden he prays that that if possible God, the father, take this cup from him but “thy will be done”.   On the cross he is alleged to have prayed, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.” “Truly I say to you, you will be with me in paradise.””Father, onto your hands I commit my spirit.” (Luke 23).  This is not false bravado.  As a human he is not eager to face such a painful ending to his brief life.  Yet, he faces his fear and the discomfort head on.    
 
This is the good news for Good Friday.  We can face any discomfort head on.  We will find we have the strength to own and deal with our fear as did Jesus.  Just as did Bigger Thomas in Richard Wright’s Native Son when he said to the police, “You can’t do nothing except kill me and that ain’t nothin.”   
 
No matter what they do to Jesus; no matter what the discomfort, his example says one can face it head on.   Although we would rather not suffer more or even die, we all are in the process of dying as soon as we are born just as we are paradoxically in the process of living.  All we own is our integrity. When we run from our fear we die.  We give away the only thing we really own, the integrity of standing up to fear.  The moment we stand up to fear we take another step towards reclaiming ourselves; another step towards resurrection; another step towards Easter.
 
Written April 2, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett,org
 
 
 
 
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Maundy Thursday  2021
 
On the Christian calendar today is Maundy Thursday.  Maundy is a shortened form of the Latin word mandatum which is usually translated as command.  Maundy Thursday is the day that Christians recall the story of Jesus meeting with his disciples for the last shared meal.  At that meal he is alleged to have demonstrated what would have been a great act of humility - washing the feet of the disciples.   He is also alleged to have said to them “A new commandment I give to you that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you are to love one another.” (John 13:34) (christianity.com)
 
 
Humility is one of those interesting terms which we often throw out as if we all understood and practiced it. Meriam Webster defines humility as “freedom from pride or arrogance; the quality or state of being humble.”   Some dictionaries define it as a state of low self-regard or even worth.  I think of it as the acceptance of our humanness; of the fact that fate or luck determines a lot of the privileges or lack of same which we enjoy; the acceptance that we are not more than it less than; that we are part of the whole and it is only when we work as one that we approximate a peaceful and just community.   When I think of humility I think of one of my teachers who, for a time was director of The Challenger Learning Center which would simulate the planning and landing of space flights.  This teacher, Nancy Sturm, made it clear that all members of the team were equally important. That was, for me, a metaphor for how all of us need to live our lives; a metaphor for how to build a well-functioning community.   When Jesus washed the feet of the disciples, a task normally done by a servant, he was demonstrating that in all ways we are to take care of each other; that no task is above or beneath us.  All of us have different talents, but all are equally valuable. The person at the hospital who lovingly empties the bed pan is just as important as the person who performs a delicate surgery. 
 
By sitting down to eat with the disciples who themselves were a rather motley group of men whom most of us would not have picked for very important teaching positions Jesus was, in my mind, saying “We must make a place at the table for everyone.”  I am reminded of another teaching of Jesus found in Matthew 20:16 “The last shall be first, and to first last; for many be called, but few chosen.” 
 
Since my background has been shaped by a Christian framework - by the Christian stories - as I was greeting folks this morning via email, text, and Facebook Messenger  I attempted to formulate my spiritual intention for the day.  My intention for today is be more aware of the extent I believe my self-\ worth is grounded in acceptance of myself and others; is grounded in this commandment of Jesus. To what extent do I invite or exclude some from the table; to what extend do I make my invitation to the table conditional on socially constructed concepts such as race, gender, age, education, profession, appearance, sexual orientation, or status?
 
Written April 1, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org







 
 
 
 
 
 
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Shared reality


Most of us know, at some level, that reality exist in the mind of every person. We know what seems real to us.  We may decide what is real based on what we think we are experiencing via way if our senses,  We may decide what is real because two or more people agree to name or label something the same.  We may decide what is real based on a similar stared experience.   


Fortunately, we can often agree with others regarding objects such as a person, a particular animal, a rock or a structure.   We may, for example, easily agree that we are both currently in a particular structure.  Depending on the language we speak we may have a particular word for a structure or even building. If we attempt to further label the structure we may experience it the same.  


We also know that our minds can “play tricks on us”.  Some dysfunction in the neurological system can result in a false association.  For example, Oliver Sacks, the neurologist, in a book entitled The Man Who Mistook His Wife For a Hat and Other clinical Tales detailed some neurological conditions which acutely affect what the affected person perceives.  The title of the book refers to a man whose brain registered his wife’s face as a hat.  While that may seem amusing it is anything but amusing to the person whose perception is distorted or to the spouse whose face is not visible to him as a face.


The person having what are called delusions or illuminations experiences reality which may not approximate a shared reality.   Fortunately, actual hallucination and delusions are relatively rare.  On the other hand, how often has all of us found ourselves arguing with a partner, another friend or our child about the nature of reality?  How often have we accused someone - overtly or covertly - of lying.   Of course, the a person may, for a variety of reasons, deny a shared reality.  On the other hand, most of the time their reality is their reality, What they experienced or remember is 100% accurate  for them.


We may often find ourselves arguing about a current or past reality as if there is a reality which “should be the same” for all: as if there is a reality which is THE reality.   We don’t always say “I experienced this event as X.”   Instead we say “This event was X.”   If another person who was present says, “I experienced the event as X.” we may tell treat them as if they are lying or are just plain stupid.


Much of the time we can agree with others on an approximate shared reality. Yes, the garbage can is empty.   Yes, there are two dozen eggs in the refrigerator.  Yes, this is the car or building to which I hold a title. Yes, our address is such and such.  Yes, I forgot your birthday.


Obviously, overt lying to a another person is seldom helpful unless, of course, one is lying about a positive surprise.  On the other hand, accusing someone of lying every time there is not an approximate shared reality is not helpful or accurate.   The truth is that it is amazing that we have a shared reality with another person(s) as often as we do.


Whether in an intimate relations, a debate about the nature of god, a proposed piece of legislation, a domestic or a foreign policy we would be well served if we quit demanding that others share our reality; if we quit acting as if our reality was the only possible one. It has been famously said,”I don’t know what I don’t know.”  I do know what I perceive.  I may have some explanation or even justification for that perception.  On the other hand, there are many other potential accurate perceptions.  There is no right or wrong.  What one experiences is frequently very subjective.


Written March 30, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

Sunday Musings - March 28, 2021
Psalm Sunday


Many in the United States of America like to promote this country as a nation in which Christianity is the primary religion.  We know, of course, that the United States of America is comprised of individual representing many different religious faiths and those who do not align themselves with any religion or religious practice. Still, at many Federal, state and local functions the blessing of the god of Christianity is invoked.  Many of the laws and customs of the United States are defended from a so-called Christian perspective.  


As the Christian community approaches Palm Sunday which commemorates the entrance of Christ into Jerusalem palm branches are symbolically laid in his path. All know that on Good Friday he will be crucified between two thieves.  Any Christian will tell you that this story celebrates the fact that the resurrection will follow on Easter.   No matter what the state says or how they label this man, Christians knows that no one could diminish his work or his mission.  Jesus had consistently taught that everyone is more than their worst behavior;  that the state could not decide who was worthwhile and who was a throw away person.  He taught that no matter how much the community declares that success is determined by financial worth, social constructed labels or titles, the size of one’s house or other ways of presenting oneself as more than or better than, all are equally guilty of hurtful behavior and all are deserving of forgiveness.


On this Palm Sunday many Christians will celebrate the reopening of churches by singing the praises of this Jesus person who they believe is also God.  Yet, many of those same people will call for justice by “throwing the book” at individuals.  Even when individuals are finally released from prison they will be denied jobs, access to housing, often voting, and in many other ways be treated as throw away persons.


University of Chicago sociologist Reuben Jonathan Miller discusses these and related issues in his  book ‘Halfway Home’.  We incarcerate those with mental illness including addiction, those who did what they need to do to survive, and those to whom we often deny equity and equality.  We do little to give them new tools (there are some exceptions in some prisons). When they are released they are denied the basics of housing, jobs and dignity which one needs to function.  When they fail we assign them new labels indicating that they are the bad people - the criminals  - we knew they were.   




We have historically done the same with black people and are now determined to create what some are calling the new Jim Crow laws to once again deny access to voting and other rights.  When people do not vote or are otherwise unable to become “successful” members of the community living “on the right side of the tracks” we can blame them.  


We do the same in many South American Countries.  We help to create and support the policies which contribute to them not being able to safely function thus forcing many to flee and them demean or criticize them. In fact, many refer to them as criminals, drug dealers or with other terms which seek to justify treating them as throw away people.


As Isabel Wilkinson has documented in her recent book ‘Caste: The Origins of Our Discontent’ the caste system in the United States of America ensures that people remain in the caste to which we have assigned them. We then blame them for remaining in that caste and/or we cite the example of the few who seem, on the surface, to escape as proof that we are not doing what we are doing.


On this Palm Sunday it is not surprising that Christians find the teachings of Jesus too radical; too threatening to an entire system.  Too many of us are busy convincing ourselves that we cannot be one of the throw away people until, of course, we are those throw away people who are disinvited from a seat at the table.


The movie “Come Sunday” is the true story of what happens to a Christian  minister, Carlton Pearson, when he suggests that the all people are welcome home by Jesus; that all of us deserve Grace - unconditional love. No exceptions.  There was no longer any room at the inn for Pastor Pearson. All of us whose tradition is the Christian framework know even if we can “pass” there is no room at the inn for the real us either; that if others knew the real us we would find locked church doors.


Written March 27, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org














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Serenity


Reinhold Niebuhr is the author of the serenity prayer,  the first part of which has been borrowed by many, including the 12 step program for recovery from various addictions.  The prayer reads as follows:


“God, grant me the Serenity 
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did this sinful world as it is
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that he will make all things right
If I Surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him in the next.
Amen


Many individuals do  hot share Niebuhr’s belief in an all powerful being whom he calls God or the belief in an afterlife.  Yet, we all have to face the fact that life shows up; that we are not in charge.  It is true that our behavior as humans affects the total ecology including weather patterns.  There is, in fact, strong evidence that our human behavior is resulting in significant climate and environmental change.  Many will argue, often quite convincingly, that there have been many changes in the climate over millions of years; that the land upon we now stand was once very different. Yet, no reasonable person can argue that plastic bags which end up in the oceans are good for the fish or other sea creatures; that mountain top mining, the increase of co-2 emissions and other behavior has a positive affect on the environment.   No reasonable person could argue that any part of the planet exists without acting and being acted on the environment.  It is obvious to even the casual observer that the interactional balance or imbalance of the. universe is quite amazing.


It is also obvious that we are not god or the gods; that no part of nature, including the weather, checks in with us prior to doing what it does.


Today their are strong winds in many areas of the Midwest and Eastern part of the United States. Us humans are powerless over these “forces of nature”.


The paradox is that while we are powerless we can alter our behavior so that it is more in synch with Mother Nature.  At the same time, no matter what we do at this moment to attempt to be more in sync with Mother Nature, life is going to show up.  People will die today many of which we could not have prevented.  After all, life itself is terminal.   The machines such as coffee pots, furnaces, computers, and the phone, have a limited and tenuous life span.  Diseases such as addiction are going to control the behavior of many.   Pandemics are going to visit.  


Many of us humans, unlike Reinhold Niebuhr,, have perfected  the art of the drama dance.  As soon as life shows up in ways which is not convenient or comfortable for us we initiate our drama dance.  This morning, for example, my laptop decided the trip i am currently on, is a vacation and it should have a break.  The wind so far has not caused the power lines to take a break but they will might do so.  I do not have the ability to repair the laptop not do I have the power to control the wind..  I do have the power to call Apple support and find out that I need to make an appointment and take it is to the store.  I may have to leave it and pick up up when it is repaired.   


I have no power of the pandemic.  I can  and was fortunate enough to receive the  vaccine shots. I do have the power to wear a mask.  If I forget my mask, as I occasionally still do, I have the power to either go back to get one,  to carry extras in the car, or to ask if the store or gym have a disposal one to wear.


So far today I have no news of the recent death of a loved one but certainly i could learn of such a death any time.  .


The bottom line is  that it is my mission to do all i can to live in synch with Mother Nature. When unexpected events show up I can follow Niebuhr’s example to accept the things i cannot change and to change the things I can.  Accepting that this will help all of us lead a more serene life and stay focused on problem solving will benefit all with whom we directly and indirectly interact today.  One does not need a belief in Niebuhr’s god to accept the wisdom of the advice inherent in the serenity prayer.


Written March 26, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
coachpickett.org

​Feathers
 
For many who have a strong religious faith, there is often hope in a life after death.  For Christians who will soon celebrate the story of the resurrection this is a belief in a literal eternal life.  For others there is hope in the daily resurrection and/or rebirth which allows for new opportunities to be one’s best selves.  For still others there is a belief that if one is “good enough” one will have riches in this life journey.  Some religions teach all events are a result of an attempt to restore balance or explain the principles of cause and effect otherwise known as karma.
 
Emily Dickinson wrote “Hope” is the thing with feathers.  The first verse is:
 
‘“Hope” is the thing with feathers-
That perches in the soul-
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops – at all –‘
 
In my work with those living with illnesses which affect the thought process, including the illness of addiction, I have noted that many share the same or similar symptoms.  The most common of these are:
 

• Feeling disconnected from self and others – no sense of community.
• No hope/belief or loss of belief/hope in a meaningful future.
• An inability to accept or to experience an inner strength to deal with one’s emotions.
• The symptoms caused by the illness, i.e. compulsive craving for a drug, food, sex, power, money or something else outside of themselves to fill the internal void or ease the feeling of disconnection and hopelessness.

 
In addition to treating the physical medical issues including detox, a chemical imbalance or other conditions, one must treat the loss of hope.  Sometimes medications such as anti-depressants can take the edge off or reduce the symptoms. With addiction the use of certain medications will ease the discomfort which can set the stage for a change in beliefs (the thought process).  The long term goal is to assist the individuals in finding and/or trusting a sense of connectedness with others and the universe in general.   It is my experience that the loss of hope and/or connectedness with self and others are the symptoms preceding attempts to self-medicate or numb oneself with drugs, sex, power or something else outside of oneself.
 
If I am accurate, in addition to treating those whose symptoms are already acute, as a society, we must address the larger issues of what allows one to claim the feathers of hope.  Krista Tippett, host of the podcast On Being almost always asks her guests what they believe makes us human or what gives meaning to one’s human experience.  Many do not believe waiting for  eternal life following this life journey is a realistic goal.  Sadly when they gave up on religious beliefs they also lost the sense of community which many find in their church, synagogue, or temple.   A  relative few may find a sense of community in the Unitarian Universalist’s community, but even that community often presupposes some sort of religious or spiritual beliefs.
 
I am not herein proposing a one size fits all answer. I am suggesting that beginning when children are very young we must invite them to consider the question of what gives meaning to this life journey. It is not useful to teach practical skills unless one can use those skills to create a community which has a sense of purpose other than collecting things, money, power, sexual conquests just for the sake of attempting to prove one’s worth or even superiority.  If, as Peggy Lee sang, “Is this all there is?”  there are no feathers of hope there is no purpose to this life journey.  The search for meaning always, I believe, begins with the willingness to ask questions; to say what does not work or make sense to one. One of the favorite questions of young children is why?  We must take seriously the question of why?  Why learn science? Why learn English grammar?  Why learn math?  Why learn skills to build the same meaningless system? Why is more better?
 
Written March 22, 2021
Jimmy F Pickett
C]\oachpickett.org